Would I be right if I said that a huge number of Kenyan women are miserable, beyond redemption, because they have lived their entire lives waiting for a man of take care of them?
There was a woman named Regina* who poisoned her husband, the father of her four boys, because he was not taking ‘good’ care of her. She then fled home and left her children who later graduated into street thugs.
It might sound insulting if someone referred to women with a mind like hers as ‘brainless’, but it’s not. They expect the man who takes them home to take care of them and their large families. How ironic! Most men cannot even care for themselves let alone their mothers. Maybe their mothers had the same notion: that a man had to step up, always. He had to pay the bills; on time, give them saloon money, fund their extravagant welfare groups, take care of the kids and love them at the same time. I think that a man’s love for a woman starts diminishing when he becomes the only individual in the house with an income.
Also read: My Nairobi boyfriend
I get a lot of stories when I go home. Once a girl told me that her mother had remarried, and left her and her six siblings behind. Who does that in her sane state of mind? I told her that maybe she had fallen in love. Ha! I did not want to trouble her with the enlightening theory that the woman she must have thought was her superwoman had found a man she hoped would be her superman.
Regina’s last born son lives in the streets of Nairobi now. Every night he sleeps in a sack out there in the cold; cuddling himself because no one else can. He doesn’t have one of his eyes. Maybe he removed it when he got fed up of watching the sad story of his life. Maybe he used it to pay some debt or maybe, he gobbled it down that other day he had no lunch. His mother is 38 years old now. She has two little girls and is with her third husband since she murdered her first. She tells everyone that she and her babies are cursed, but no one cares to listen.
Regina, the problem is not the man in your life, or the others you’ve had, it is you! For expecting a man to swoop in every other time to save you and make your tears hurt less; for believing that you cannot do it yourself.